absurd and alien

Sometimes everything seems absurd and alien to me.

On my walk there was a toddler playing near a rat (or a mouse as his parents thought). A jogger with a special jogging pram. Cars speeding up at me as I crossed the road. And the bus zooming past me as I hailed it near the stop. I thought I saw a dog driving a car but he was merely on his owners lap (who was occluded by a shadow).

The most human things were seeing a restored three wheeler car from the 80s drive past (dad used to call them plastic pigs) and a homeless man reading a book saying hello to me with his hand on his heart.

Yesterday I noticed compassion has the word compass in it. I want compassion to be my moral compass to a more significant degree.

Sickness is not a synonym for weakness. I have a stiff back and rash (could be shingles). I'm a bit stressed, depressed and fragile (working through a trauma). I think vulnerability is a strength: to symbolize suffering into awareness is to deal with it. Offer it love and attention not ignorance. But if I mention these things people are often awkward and on edge.

Last week my partner's brother in law was moaning about how he couldn't afford servants. When I spoke about equality granny asked if I was a communist. Treating people inhumanely is more acceptable.

I realized today that he could afford cleaners and nannies, au pairs, etc when my partner mentioned thinking about getting a gardener.